caiden's arrival (part 1)

caiden.

it means, "spirit of battle".

and, boy did we battle it out the days leading up to his birth.

54 long hours, 

beginning on a sunday evening

and ending in the wee hours of a wednesday morning.

i had been having contractions all week.

hoping they would continue.

i would have about 5

and then nothing.

but, sunday was different.

they wouldn't go away.

but, they weren't very consistent either.

just painful.

painful enough to keep me up all night.

painful enough to make me want 

to throw in the towel and have a repeat c-section.

(nothing wrong with c-sections. i just was really hoping for a vbac this time around.)

i go to the doctor on monday.

i'm checked.

2 cm....2 cm.

really?

that's it?

"keep your appointment for tomorrow," he says.

"this could go on all week," he says.

ugh.

seriously rethinking a c-section.

but, we battle it out. 

contraction after contraction.

no sleep.

pacing. hoping. 

they get about 8 minutes apart.

we make it until tuesday morning's appointment.

i am both exhausted and surprised that i

haven't run to the maternity floor begging for a c-section.

i'm checked again.

almost 4 cm.

(i think she was being generous.)

but, 

there was good news...

she tells me to go to the hospital.

she fills out some paperwork.

and...

looks like we're gonna have a baby this day.

or are we?

we make it to the hospital.

have i mentioned that i've never had a baby in the states before?

i don't have a clue what i'm doing.

i show up with my paper.

and my contractions.

they hook me up to a monitor in triage.

the nurses seem doubtful.

and i am just praying they don't send me home.

then something happens.

i have a contraction.

i try to move to lesson the pain.

the belt slides.

but so does caiden's heart rate.

to about 45.

a nurse and the doctor come dashing in.

"all bets are off," she says.

"if that happens again, no vbac for you."

yes, ma'am. whatever you say, ma'am.

we wait.

the contractions still aren't consistent.

just painful.

caiden's heart rate remains good.

so, i'm admitted and

i get my own room.

we've decided at this point to delay the pitocin. 

(whew. i am not a big fan of pitocin. it scares me.)

we're going to break my water first.

but before we do any of that,

there is the question of the epidural.

oh, the drama of that epidural

...

(to be continued)